It is the collective experience of the members of Cocaine Anonymous that addiction is a problem not limited to cocaine or any other mind-altering substance. With this in mind, we suggest you answer the following questions:
1 Have you ever used more cocaine, alcohol or other drugs than you planned?
2 Has the use of cocaine, alcohol or other drugs ever interfered with your job?
3 Is your use of cocaine, alcohol or other drugs causing problems within your relationships?
4 Do you ever feel depressed, guilty, or remorseful after using cocaine, alcohol or other drugs?
5 Do you use whatever cocaine, alcohol or other drugs you have, almost continually, until the supply is exhausted?
6 Have you ever experienced physical problems due to your use of cocaine, alcohol or other drugs?
7 Do you ever regret using cocaine, alcohol or other drugs for the first time?
8 Do you ever obsess about getting cocaine, alcohol or other drugs when you do not have any?
9 Are you experiencing financial difficulties due to your use of cocaine, alcohol or other drugs?
10 Do you experience an anticipation high when you are about to use cocaine, alcohol or other drugs?
11 Do you have difficulty sleeping without alcohol or other drugs?
12 Are you absorbed with the thought of using cocaine, alcohol or other drugs even while interacting with a friend or loved one?
13 Have you begun to use cocaine, alcohol or other drugs while you’re alone?
14 While using or drinking, do you ever have feelings that people are talking about you or watching you?
15 Do you have to use more cocaine, alcohol or other drugs to get the same effects you once experienced?
16 Have you tried to cut down on your use of cocaine, alcohol or other drugs only to find that you could not?
17 Have you tried to stop using cocaine, alcohol or other drugs only to find that you could not stay stopped?
18 Have any of your friends or family suggested that you may have a problem with cocaine, alcohol or other drugs?
19 Have you ever lied to or misled people about how much cocaine, alcohol or other drugs you use?
20 Have you ever lied to or misled people about how often you get high or drunk?
21 Do you use cocaine, alcohol or other drugs in your car, at work, in the bathroom, or in other public places?
22 Are you afraid that if you stop using cocaine, alcohol or other drugs, your work will suffer or you will not be able to function?
23 Do you spend time around people or go places you would normally stay away from if not for the availability of cocaine, alcohol or other drugs?
24 Have you ever stolen money, cocaine, alcohol, or other drugs from friends or family?
25 Has using and/or drinking cost you more than money?
Addiction Self Test – If you have answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may have a problem. There is an answer: Come to meetings of Cocaine Anonymous. While the name “Cocaine Anonymous” may sound drug-specific, we wish to assure you that our program is not. Many of our members did a lot of cocaine; others used only a little, and some never even tried coke. Whether we focused on a specific mind-altering substance or used whatever we could get our hands on, we had one thing in common: eventually we all reached a point where we could not stop. Over time, virtually every single one of us has realised that our real problem is not cocaine or any specific drug; it is the disease of addiction.
According to C.A.’s Third Tradition, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using cocaine and all other mind-altering substances. It doesn’t matter to us if you drank or what type of drugs you used; if you have a desire to stop, you are welcome in Cocaine Anonymous!
Some of us can answer without hesitation, “I am!” Others aren’t so sure. Cocaine Anonymous believes that no one can decide for another whether he or she is addicted. One thing is sure, though: every single one of us has denied being an addict. For months, for years, we who now freely admit that we are cocaine addicts thought that we could control cocaine when in fact it was controlling us.
“I only use on weekends,” or
“It hardly ever interferes with work,” or
“I can quit, it’s only psychologically addicting, right?” or
“I only snort, I don’t base or shoot,” or
“It’s this relationship that’s messing me up.”
Many of us are still perplexed to realize how long we went on, never getting the same high we got at the beginning, yet still insisting, and believing—so distorted was our reality—that we were getting from cocaine what actually always eluded us. We went to any lengths to get away from being ourselves. The lines got fatter; the grams went faster; the week’s stash was all used up today. We found ourselves scraping envelopes and baggies with razor blades, scratching the last flakes from the corners of brown bottles, snorting or smoking any white speck from the floor when we ran out. We, who prided ourselves on our fine-tuned state of mind! Nothing mattered more to us than the straw, the pipe, the needle. Even if it made us feel miserable, we had to have it.
Some of us mixed cocaine with alcohol or other drugs and found temporary relief in the change, but in the end, it only compounded our problems. We tried quitting by ourselves, finally, and managed to do so for periods of time. After a month, we imagined we were in control. We thought our system was cleaned out and we could get the old high again, using half as much. This time, we’d be careful not to go overboard. But we only found ourselves back where we were before, and worse.
We never left the house without using first. We didn’t make love without using. We didn’t talk on the phone without coke. We couldn’t fall asleep; sometimes it seemed we couldn’t even breathe without cocaine. We tried changing jobs, apartments, cities, lovers—believing that our lives were being screwed up by circumstances, places, people. Perhaps we saw a cocaine friend die of respiratory arrest, and still we went on using! But eventually we had to face facts. We had to admit that cocaine was a serious problem in our lives, that we were addicts.